Is it possible to be too starstruck? I've never been starstruck before. For the longest time, I didn't even know what it meant to be starstruck. Not until I saw Adam Lambert perform.
One day, I was watching So You Think You Can Dance, and the guest performer was Adam Lambert. I didn't think much of it at the time, but I looked him up on
line to figure out who he was. Come on, a guy with eyeliner? He's gorgeous.
Slowly, I started to become obcessed. Googling him all the time. Watching everything on youtube with him in it. I even found him on Twitter and decided to follow him. What's so special about Adam Lambert? Sure, he gives a great performance and has an amazing voice. But why am I so amazed?
I have his album, For Your Entertainment, and it's pretty much all I listen to anymore. Most of the time, after a week or so I tire of hearing the same music all the time, but not with him. What is going on with me? He's just a person. No need to be obcessed, but yet I am.
Growing up, I was always one of those people that was like 'really they are just people too, don't obcess over them.' Now look at me. I feel like there isn't enough I can learn about Adam. Everything about him is fascinating. His voice when he talks and sings, his look when he's dressed casual or flashy. He is an amazing person, but is he really? I will never know.
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Dreams Change
Two kids, a big blue house, lots of pets and a wonderful marriage. What a life! So I used to think. That's how I always imagined myself. Graduate from college at twenty four, marry my boyfriend, and have kids by the time I was twenty seven. Beautiful goals.
There was this moment that changed everything. Something just hit me. That's not how I want my life. That's how life is supposed to end up in a perfect world. News flash! It's not a perfect world. I don't want two kids, one will be plenty. I don't want to get married straight out of college, I'm not even sure I want to get married anymore at all. I just switched majors from elementary education to journalism, who says I won't get tired of that and switch again?
Snow was the biggest reason for me not to leave Michigan. The white Christmases are perfect. What am I? A novel? Not everything has to be the way we see it in movies. I love snow. Or at least I used to. Now I want to move to California. I'm done with snow. Sunshine all the time seems like much more excitement.
What changed? I was so sure about my life for so long. Why do I feel this way all of a sudden? I haven't done anything differently. I just woke up one day and decided it was time for a change. I want to move somewhere new and start all over. The biggest question now, will it change again? Can I go through with my new goals and be happy? We'll see.
There was this moment that changed everything. Something just hit me. That's not how I want my life. That's how life is supposed to end up in a perfect world. News flash! It's not a perfect world. I don't want two kids, one will be plenty. I don't want to get married straight out of college, I'm not even sure I want to get married anymore at all. I just switched majors from elementary education to journalism, who says I won't get tired of that and switch again?
Snow was the biggest reason for me not to leave Michigan. The white Christmases are perfect. What am I? A novel? Not everything has to be the way we see it in movies. I love snow. Or at least I used to. Now I want to move to California. I'm done with snow. Sunshine all the time seems like much more excitement.
What changed? I was so sure about my life for so long. Why do I feel this way all of a sudden? I haven't done anything differently. I just woke up one day and decided it was time for a change. I want to move somewhere new and start all over. The biggest question now, will it change again? Can I go through with my new goals and be happy? We'll see.
Friday, January 22, 2010
A Day in the Life as an Entertainer
Entertaining people can be tough at times. Never seem to get enough time to yourself. Always having to please others. Doesn't always seem fun, or worth it. But in the end, it can be if you're doing what you enjoy. Right?
Well, I wouldn't know exactly. I have been an "entertainer" as some may call it. Mos people would call it a stripper or exotic dancer. But if you've ever worked in a strip club, you would know that these girls prefer to be called dancers or entertainers. I mean they do entertain people. Mostly men, a few occasional, curious women come in.
Being a stripper isn't as bad as it may seem. A typical day for a normal entertainer would consist of getting up, taking a shower, shaving your legs, putting on makeup and heading to the club. "Gentlemen's Club" is what the real term is. We all know them as strip clubs though, because that's what they are.
Once the entertainer is at the club, they go up to the dressing room and change into something usually pretty revealing, or maybe just a bathing suit. The hardest part of the job is dancing for the costumers. Sometimes it's much harder than it seems. Guys will try to grab the girls or pay them to do things that they don't want to do. Most men don't realize that just because these girls take their clothes off for money doesn't make them prostitutes. What they do is arouse. Nothing more.
Stage performances are actually much easier than they appear to be. Everyone always asks "Well how can you be on stage taking your clothes off in front of all those men?" In reality, if you just don't think about the fact that you are taking your clothes off, think about just dancing and don't focus on the crowd, it's rather easy. Some entertainers say picture your audience in their underwear. The best way for a dancer to do that is look at one of her fellow dancers. Normally that's all they are wearing...underwear.
Not every stripper is the stereotypical type. The ones that do drugs, sell themselves for money, and live in broke down places. Yes, there are dancers that are like that, but there are more that aren't. Nowadays, you can walk into a McDonald's and be served by someone that does drugs or any other of the stripper stereotypical types. It may seem like a bad job. Yes, at times it can be degrading. But the money can be factastic and it's a great way to pay for school.
I'm not saying "hey you should go out and try stripping" because you shouldn't. Girls tend to get addicted to the money and don't want to leave. Well being an exotic dancer isn't something you can do for a long time. Unless you're one of the lucky women that is forty and looks twenty. But it is an honest living and there isn't anything wrong with the life. It can be a good one or it can be bad. It's all up to the way it is portrayed.
Well, I wouldn't know exactly. I have been an "entertainer" as some may call it. Mos people would call it a stripper or exotic dancer. But if you've ever worked in a strip club, you would know that these girls prefer to be called dancers or entertainers. I mean they do entertain people. Mostly men, a few occasional, curious women come in.
Being a stripper isn't as bad as it may seem. A typical day for a normal entertainer would consist of getting up, taking a shower, shaving your legs, putting on makeup and heading to the club. "Gentlemen's Club" is what the real term is. We all know them as strip clubs though, because that's what they are.
Once the entertainer is at the club, they go up to the dressing room and change into something usually pretty revealing, or maybe just a bathing suit. The hardest part of the job is dancing for the costumers. Sometimes it's much harder than it seems. Guys will try to grab the girls or pay them to do things that they don't want to do. Most men don't realize that just because these girls take their clothes off for money doesn't make them prostitutes. What they do is arouse. Nothing more.
Stage performances are actually much easier than they appear to be. Everyone always asks "Well how can you be on stage taking your clothes off in front of all those men?" In reality, if you just don't think about the fact that you are taking your clothes off, think about just dancing and don't focus on the crowd, it's rather easy. Some entertainers say picture your audience in their underwear. The best way for a dancer to do that is look at one of her fellow dancers. Normally that's all they are wearing...underwear.
Not every stripper is the stereotypical type. The ones that do drugs, sell themselves for money, and live in broke down places. Yes, there are dancers that are like that, but there are more that aren't. Nowadays, you can walk into a McDonald's and be served by someone that does drugs or any other of the stripper stereotypical types. It may seem like a bad job. Yes, at times it can be degrading. But the money can be factastic and it's a great way to pay for school.
I'm not saying "hey you should go out and try stripping" because you shouldn't. Girls tend to get addicted to the money and don't want to leave. Well being an exotic dancer isn't something you can do for a long time. Unless you're one of the lucky women that is forty and looks twenty. But it is an honest living and there isn't anything wrong with the life. It can be a good one or it can be bad. It's all up to the way it is portrayed.
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Adam Lambert is gay, Get Over IT!
Adam Lambert openly admitted he was gay. But his question to everyone is "Was there ever any doubt?" He's never tried to hide it. Being gay isn't a label, and it's no reason to judge anyone for their personal preferences. How does it make him any different than any other person? So he likes men instead of women. Adam's music is amazing. He can really sing. Adam being gay has nothing to do with him as an entertainer. It's his personal business and nobody else's. Why is it such a big deal? Ellen Degeneres likes women and nobody judges her or Rosie O'Donnell, but everytime a guy comes out it's got to be some great deal. Clay Aiken, for example. He used to be a pretty big entertainer, until America found out he was gay. Now nobody really hears about him anymore. Like he just disappeared. Or Jonathon Taylor Thomas. He was a great actor, but since he came out he also just disappeared. It doesn't change them as a person. America loved these people before they found out they were gay, what changed? We love them for their performances, not their personal life. Don't let Adam disappear. He deserves to be on top, for awhile. He was honest from the start, he should be rewarded for that. Allow him to be who he wants to be, enjoy his music because he's a good singer, not because he likes to kiss men! Shouldn't we love him even more for being honest?
The whole AMA incident is starting to get old as well. I personally feel he did nothing wrong. He was entertaining the audience. Correct me if I'm wrong, but the audience cheered loudly for him when he was done with his song. Doesn't that mean he was entertaining? He did nothing wrong. Lady Gaga's outfit made it look as if she was barely wearing anything, but nobody said anything about that. Or the fact the she was breaking glass and bottles, she also had fire which could have been dangerous, again no judgement. She gave an amazing performance as well, but she was appraised for her act, not Adam. He should have been, so he kissed a guy. If he kissed a girl, would it have been ok then? Adam was up there to entertain his audience, and to most, that is what he did. Drop IT!
The whole AMA incident is starting to get old as well. I personally feel he did nothing wrong. He was entertaining the audience. Correct me if I'm wrong, but the audience cheered loudly for him when he was done with his song. Doesn't that mean he was entertaining? He did nothing wrong. Lady Gaga's outfit made it look as if she was barely wearing anything, but nobody said anything about that. Or the fact the she was breaking glass and bottles, she also had fire which could have been dangerous, again no judgement. She gave an amazing performance as well, but she was appraised for her act, not Adam. He should have been, so he kissed a guy. If he kissed a girl, would it have been ok then? Adam was up there to entertain his audience, and to most, that is what he did. Drop IT!
What is love?
Love is a very complicated word. Sometimes I wonder if it even exists. To a certain extent, to me, it does, but what is portrayed in movies doesn't seem to exist. True love, what is it anyway? As a society, everyone is looking for "the one" or "Mr./Mrs. Right." Is there really someone out there for everyone? Is there such thing as soul mates?
I grew up believing in true love. What I thought was true love though, was what I saw in movies. In the real world we can't find someone that is "perfect." Perfection isn't possible. It seems that we always want more. Everyone in the world has flaws. No one can be perfect in every way. At first they may seem that way, but after time spent together it's easy to see that the flaws will slip out. It's not a bad thing, but that person wouldn't be perfect, now would they? It turns out chivalry is dead. I do believe, however, that a few people really do find true love. When they do it is a beautiful thing.
Is it possible to think you are in love, but not actually be in love? In reality, it was more of a long term infatuation. That is what I believe. I thought I found the real thing, but now I'm not so sure. I can't be in love and be constantly thinking of being with other guys, can I? Not necessarily thinking of guys in a sexual manner, but as in "Oh I could really see myself with this guy." Well I shouldn't be able to "see" myself with someone else if I'm truly in love. Again, love is extremely complicated.
Love isn't easy. It's a journey. I think my problem is that I don't want to be alone, I want to be loved, so I'm staying in my relationship for security. That's not always a good thing. Iwish I could listen to my own advice. Constantly, I tell my friends to not be with someone if they really don't want to be with that person. "Don't do it for security" I always say. But look at me? Isn't that what I'm doing? I go back and forth. One minute I can't live without this guy and the next I'm imagining myself with someone else. That can't be love. But I'm afraid to go out and look for someone else. Where would I begin? Don't get me wrong, I love the man I'm with, I'm just not so sure I'm in love with him anymore. For example, we never hang out. On our days off together, we are off with our own friends. The only time we set a special occasion is for a reason (anniversary, Valentine's Day, etc.). But I don't mind. We hardly have sex anymore, again I don't mind. Shouldn't I? It's more like we're room mates. Sometimes he doesn't come to bed until I'm waking up, or he won't come to bed at all. How can that be love?
I thought I knew what love was, but now I'm not so sure. Does love exist? Is it possible that you can feel the same way for a person your entire life? So many questions, so little answers. Hopefully I'm wrong, hopefully there is someone for everyone, but until I find that someone, I'm sticking to my beliefs in love.
I grew up believing in true love. What I thought was true love though, was what I saw in movies. In the real world we can't find someone that is "perfect." Perfection isn't possible. It seems that we always want more. Everyone in the world has flaws. No one can be perfect in every way. At first they may seem that way, but after time spent together it's easy to see that the flaws will slip out. It's not a bad thing, but that person wouldn't be perfect, now would they? It turns out chivalry is dead. I do believe, however, that a few people really do find true love. When they do it is a beautiful thing.
Is it possible to think you are in love, but not actually be in love? In reality, it was more of a long term infatuation. That is what I believe. I thought I found the real thing, but now I'm not so sure. I can't be in love and be constantly thinking of being with other guys, can I? Not necessarily thinking of guys in a sexual manner, but as in "Oh I could really see myself with this guy." Well I shouldn't be able to "see" myself with someone else if I'm truly in love. Again, love is extremely complicated.
Love isn't easy. It's a journey. I think my problem is that I don't want to be alone, I want to be loved, so I'm staying in my relationship for security. That's not always a good thing. Iwish I could listen to my own advice. Constantly, I tell my friends to not be with someone if they really don't want to be with that person. "Don't do it for security" I always say. But look at me? Isn't that what I'm doing? I go back and forth. One minute I can't live without this guy and the next I'm imagining myself with someone else. That can't be love. But I'm afraid to go out and look for someone else. Where would I begin? Don't get me wrong, I love the man I'm with, I'm just not so sure I'm in love with him anymore. For example, we never hang out. On our days off together, we are off with our own friends. The only time we set a special occasion is for a reason (anniversary, Valentine's Day, etc.). But I don't mind. We hardly have sex anymore, again I don't mind. Shouldn't I? It's more like we're room mates. Sometimes he doesn't come to bed until I'm waking up, or he won't come to bed at all. How can that be love?
I thought I knew what love was, but now I'm not so sure. Does love exist? Is it possible that you can feel the same way for a person your entire life? So many questions, so little answers. Hopefully I'm wrong, hopefully there is someone for everyone, but until I find that someone, I'm sticking to my beliefs in love.
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